Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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