I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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