i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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