I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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