Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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