If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
