You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I currently don't understand fingers.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
