just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
