you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
