He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
