so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
