don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
