Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
