Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
