just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize