Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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