He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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