New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just pee around me
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize