K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
