Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
