I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
