Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
