Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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