Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
