you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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