I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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