I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Someone came in the potted fern
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
