you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
