So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My liver is preforming stress tests.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
