two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Randomize
