I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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