hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
