soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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