I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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