We won't sleep together?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
