you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
