living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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