butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
