I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
