No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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