Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize