Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
this just has baby written all over it
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
