booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just found a bag of teeth...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
