I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Girls should come with a carfax report
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize