i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
