I want to make a zoo with you.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
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