what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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