ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
