dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
