i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
