have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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