i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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