also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
