1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she smelled like a LAN party
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
