she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
operation have a gay friend backfired
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize