i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
