So drunk its hurt
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
