Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
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