where am i from again
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
