This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
