do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm bleeding and have questions
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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