Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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