Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize