i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
